Countless times have I been told 'Would you stop being so positive'. In some conversations I can even hear in the other person's voice that me trying to put a positive spin on the event that has just happened is making them want to poke me in the eye.
We have all been there. Something has happened that just tips us over the edge and then some do-gooder tries to tell us how great life is and it will be ok and even though we want to think like that, well we just dismiss it all and wind ourselves up even more.
Since starting my practise I have heard from a few people that they look at my posts and my blogs wanting to be this positive but just cannot seem to do it. Well here is a little story for you. I wasn't always a 'the glass is half full' kind of girl. Nope, I used to live in the theory that if I didn't expect anything good to happen then if it did it was a bonus. I lived expecting things to go wrong and they often did. This was my way of coping and it worked for me just fine for me.
Now I remember half way through my own therapeutic journey, my sister came over for the day. She started talking to me about a book that she had read and it had changed her life. All to do with changing how you think in order to change your world. I humoured her and pretty much shrugged it off to be honest.
A couple of days later something made me order that book. When it arrived I almost begrudgingly began to read it. Looking back I think I was slightly scared that it would change the way that I thought. What if I didn't want to change? I had coped all these years why would I want to change now?
Thing was I didn't put that book down. I had finished it in two days. That book was the start of something wonderful for me. I realised that all of the time I had expected bad things to happen to me had attracted the bad things. If I had imagined it going wrong then it most likely would do. Once I had changed the way I perceived the events of my life I realised that a lot of the time things do 'go wrong' but handling them in a different more positive way is so much better for you as a person. To not worry, to know things will be ok, to believe in yourself and to think in a more positive way is so much more satisfying. I read and read, did my research, found guru's that I liked. Leading my life the way that I do and believing the things that I believe is a choice. Positivity is a practise and a hard one at that, considering that everywhere we turn in this life there are people and things putting us down.
So where does hypnotherapy hold a place in aiding with this?
The subconscious mind is 1000 times stronger than the conscious mind. So look at it this way, that person that really wants to change something, anything, lets stick with the theme and say it's the person I was chatting to the other week who said,
'I really love your posts and want to think positively but I just can't seem to make it stick'
What has happened here is this person has made a decision in their conscious mind. I want to be positive please brain. Well the subconscious mind does not like change. It has survived this long with a negative thought process and it is not willing to change. It is the same for anything. Often weight loss client's that I see have been up and down with their weight all of their lives. This is because the conscious decision can only last for so long. Eventually something will happen to trigger the subconscious coping mechanism and boom..... the weight goes back on. Just to note now I am aware that this isn't the case for everyone and will power is a fabulous thing. There's just something about re wiring the subconscious mind to create permanent positive changes that I love! Once the subconscious mind is rewired a person is set free. It can be tiring having a constant battle of wills in your mind and this can often lead to old habits reforming; the conscious mind gives in.
So, for myself I realised quite quickly that I needed to do something more to uphold my new found positivity. This is when I began to use self hypnosis, which I do teach to all of my clients. It is a wonderful technique that really compounds all of the great work a client does in our sessions and people are surprised how easily they can achieve this. No matter what issue a client comes to me with I work firstly with their self belief and thought system about themselves. Just having an ego boost works wonders for self-achievement; because they are positive and believe that they can. We need to deal with the negativity surrounding the issue. So many times I hear of how my client's are 'trying to be positive'. This is often no good at all as the more we try to be something else, the more we resist the thing that we are trying not to be; in this case therefore the thing we are trying to resist, negativity, will persist. This is another reason why I insist on an initial consultation so that I can personalise each treatment plan. People's issues are all different and no amount of therapy will work if the route cause is not found. What I am saying is that if we do not find the cause of the negative thinking, for example, then it will always persist. That initial cause needs dealing with and this can be achieved very successfully under hypnosis. I have found continuously that once I can help a client to see themselves in their new life, they can achieve it. They see it. And they achieve it.
Positivity is a practise. Things do go wrong. We all stumble sometimes. It's how we get back up and handle the situation that defines us. How we move forward. How we let go of the past and the people that have hurt us, because that pain; that hurt; that resentment only hurts one person. You. To be able to set someone free of all of this; to help them to move forward in a positive way is one of the most beautiful feelings for me as a therapist. And I am so passionate because I have seen it work time and time again, and also it has worked for me. It has made my life so much better and now I want to give that to others too.
'When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be' - Lao Tzu